whyisshenottalkingtome?

I wonder why she's not talking to me? I wonder if she misses me as much as I miss her? I wonder if she's thinking of me at all?

I wanted to talk to her and ask her why but I'm afraid. I'm scared that if I keep on trying to call her, it would only annoy her and she would get angrier.

I just wish she would tell me if she's angry at me or not, instead of just being silent about it coz it's driving me insane.

I wish she would tell me if I did something wrong. I wish she would tell me to stay away from her. That would be easier for me.

Although, I told her many times that I love her, I never did hear her say that she loves me too. Well, for most guys that may night be good. But for me.. that's good enough. At least I have a reason to wake up everyday.  At least if I have someone like her, this life ain't as hard to live in as to what it actually is.

But sometimes.. I just wish she would tell me that she loves me too.. or tell me that she doesn't like me at all. If only I was one of those guys who falls in love easily.. If only I could forget that easily.. but that's not the case here.. That's not what I am.

What am I you ask?

I'm a guy who can wait even for an eternity for someone like her. I'm a guy who's willing to do a lot of things for her. I'm also old fashioned. I want to meet her family and ask for their permission. Although, she told me time and time again that she's already an adult and she can decide for herself (which is true) but I still feel that the blessing of the family is required to have a tranquil relationship.

I'm neither romantic nor sweet but I am very faithful. And I also promised her that I would take good care of her. Also, I'll only promise something if there's a huge possibility that I am able to do it. If I know that I can't or won't do it.. I ain't making that promise.

I wonder if she realizes that she's the only one that I can actually talk about how was my day and what happened afterwards. I wonder if she realizes that she means so much to me. Our relationship means a lot to me. In fact.. it's the only thing that's been keeping me sane this past years. My loneliness was quashed because of her existence..

I wonder if she realizes that... I wonder if she's fully aware of how I feel for her.

Well.. for now I'll just keep on wondering..

coz that's all I can do.