What I want to Say To Yah

apologyI've been chatting in a certain room of a certain chat messenger for a few months now.. to be precise more than a year now.. and I've enjoyed my stay.. I've been having lotsa fun and a nice chatting experience.. there are times when people in that chat room makes me angry.. or annoyed or pissed or makes me want to kill them.. but most of the time.. it's just fun chatting with them.. anyway I have this chat mate or used to have this chat mate.. she looks nice and everyone appreciates her appearance...(sorry folks I'm blabbing shit right now) I used to enjoy chatting with her.. she was a lot of fun.. when she had a problem.. she was always crying and I was really worried about her.. and I tried calming her down.. giving her advice(although I'm not sure if they were useful) and always saying reassuring words.. but somehow things got weird.. I know it's my fault.. I know I caused it and I know she would never talked to me again.. I wanted to make her happy.. I wanted to make her smile.. I wanted to make her feel loved.. but I guess my feelings didn't reach her.. It's really sad.. and it pisses me off.. but what can I do? I can't force someone to love me.. I can't make her feel the same way... I really wanted to be an important person in her life.. but my ego got in the way.. and my pride got bigger and I became stupid and I guess I said some harsh words...

I guess I'm like that.. I'm the kind of guy the lets his emotions take control.. I know I should have been more patient and understanding... but at that time I couldn't think clearly.. I couldn't behave like a true gentleman(not that I'm a gentleman).

That situation has been a constant burden to my heart.. I've been having this heavy feeling since it happened(it's not because of my manly boobs). Now, I can't even talk to her anymore.. well not that it matters.. it's ok if she doesn't want to talk to me anymore.. I just want this feeling to go away.. I just want to end things smoothly.. even if she doesn't want to talk to me anymore, at least there was closure and things ended nicely... at least I wouldn't have to carry this heavy feeling.. at least it would be less stress and less worries..

How am I supposed to tell that person that I'm Sorry.. How am I suppose to ask for her forgiveness.. Since I don't want to beg and cry(O.A na yun)

This is pissing me off.. figuring out something that can easily be solved..

P.S.
If ye got nuttin good te say.. Piss OFF..