Monster in a Jar: Weird thought of the day again..

I noticed that every time a try to blog about something.. the titles of my so called blogs aren't that catchy.. I really need to come up with cool titles.. or probably not.. no one is reading this anyway.. not that I care if anyone reads my blogs.. I'm just writing about what I think.. or what I feel or what I think I feel.. (not making any sense again am I?)

Personally... I don't want to call this as a blog.. I'd rather call this as a journal (it's manly that way)

Right now I'm writing this rambling while some dude on my left is flirting to his boyfriend...(get a room!) and on my right a lady is talking to her boyfriend and not to be rude and judgmental.. but her engresh sucks big time and it's giving me a headache just by listening to her.. I mean.. I may not speak fluent English but at least I can honestly say that I can speak it better than her (totally being judgmental there dude)

Ok.. not that we've gone through that part.. let's focus on the most important part.. Why am I publishing another rambling. Honestly, I have no idea why but I felt that it's better than not say or write anything..

ok.. here's a secret.. I actually like this girl.. and I told her I like her... and... flat line.. ye know, the beeping sound when someone dies? that's what happened.. it totally sucks but that's life and I pretended like it didn't matter or whatever.. but in reality, it really matters.. I'm not writing this because I need someone's pity.. I really don't want that kind of shit right now.. I'm writing this because I have no one else to talk to.. If my mom was alive.. I would have probably told her that I'm sad right now (although I may not look like it). This morning I just cried for no apparent reason.. I didn't even felt the tears until I wiped my face.. I actually thought it was sweat.. weird huh? well that's me.. I just a huge lump of weirdness walking and talking.

It's tough.. it's even more tough when your alone and you're feeling lonely and the only thing(person) that could listen to yer complaints and rambling are the four corners of yer room.. or the roaches and lizards (that's fucking psycho.. right?) Every time i caught myself talking to myself.. I always say to myself that I'm only thinking out loud..(noticed how many myself words I used there?)

Geez the lady beside me is still not fucking done! WHAT UP LADY! stop talking rubbish man!

yer giving me a headache.

Anyway tomorrow is work again.. One of these days.. I should have a 3 days vacation.. my head hurts.. I've been getting sick a lot and having headaches lately ever since I took that position.. Now I know why my predecessors left and resigned..oh well.. I guess I just need to make the most of it.. my body is starting to give up on me.. (finally the lady beside me is done! Thank you God!)

Oh crap! I forgot what I was writing about! DAMN IT! I don't want to re-think! I'm just gonna end this shit here.. I don't feel like writing anymore..